


Help Me, Hold Me

by RadioactivePaws



Series: Love In Purgatory aka the transNic AU [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, bi baby waverly, guns come into play a little, idk how to tag this, idk what else, im just cautious, its not bad at all tbh, like FtM Nic, look straight up this is a transNicole AU, mentions of a bar fight, t for teen just cause guns and shit, thats all folks, transgender Nicole, wayhaught being cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7336882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioactivePaws/pseuds/RadioactivePaws
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: I just want one where Nicole cries and Waverly comforts her</p><p>so.. i took this and ran with it and it ended up being an entire thing. This two shot fulfils this prompt however.</p><p>Some news comes out before Nic was ready and Waverly is there to help.</p><p>TransNicole AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Okay To Cry

**Author's Note:**

> BIG DISCLAIMER RIGHT ON TOP 
> 
> this AU is going to be snippets, possibly a full on fic later, of a universe that is separate from the show while still staying with the basics of the show. 
> 
> the biggest thing here is that Nicole is Nic, a trans man. it is still Wayhaught, Nic is with Waverly. That's the biggest difference you need to know for this twoshot fic.
> 
> if you have an issue with Nicole being written as a trans character then this fic is not for you~

“Uh, hey Waves?”

Waverly froze just inside the doors to the Black Badge office. Wynonna sounded nervous, her eyes not meeting Waverly’s as she cleared her throat. That was never a good sign.

“What, Wynonna? What’s going on?” Dolls looked uncomfortable when she looked over to him for clues, shifting on his feet instead of looking her in the eyes.

“Nedley wanted me to tell you that Nic is, uhm, he’s got the day off.” Wynonna dragged out her words, her voice raising in pitch along with her nerves as she trailed off. Waverly stared at her, hard, and watched as Wynonna squirmed until she broke. “Apparently Champ said some stuff at lunch at Shorty’s today. He was already drunk, big surprise there, and he said some personal things.”

Looking between Wynonna’s worried face and Doll’s uncomfortable, angry stance, it didn’t take long for Waverly to work out what he probably said. “He brought up things from their academy days, didn’t he?”

“Yep.” Wynonna popped the end of the word before she sighed and rubbed at her face. “We’re not the only ones who know now. I guess there was a hell of a fight, mostly people ganging up on Champ. Nic got a few hits before Nedley got there to break up the fight.”

Dolls nodded, leaning against the table with a gruff chuckle. “Nedley seemed proud.” Waverly nodded slowly, the reality of it all sinking in.

“Where is he?” Waverly didn’t wait for a reply, her legs carrying her out the door before anyone could even hazard a guess. She had a pretty good idea of where he went.

Parking at the homestead, Waverly ran towards the barn as a wave of relief washed over her despite the worry and anger. She could hear Nic’s usual work out music, just as she hoped she would. Wynonna and Dolls had turned part of the barn into a workout area to train in, and Waverly had invited Nic to do the same whenever he wanted. The idea that he may be there working off steam had been a sudden one, but it was one that she was happy she had thought of it so quickly.

Peeking inside the door, Waverly felt her heart break a little at the sight before her. Nic was going at the punching bag with a fury she had never seen before. Sweat dripped from his face and his hair was wild, sticking out from a messy bun with half of it falling into his eyes. Waverly could spot a bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip, but from that distance, he looked physically fine. Nic spotted her as he turned with another harsh punch. His body ceased movement to look at her fully, with a fear and anger in his eyes that Waverly wanted to fix.

Slowly, she walked inside the doors, watching how he crumbled more with every step she took closer. First his shoulders dropped, next the anger faded into a tired sadness that swept the breath from Waverly’s lungs. By the time she reached him and slid her arms around his waist, Nic was holding back tears.

Gently, almost as if he were afraid his emotional turmoil would crush her, Nic curled into Waverly and tucked his head into her neck. She was safe, warm and soothing as she slowly moved them both to sit on the bed. Nic’s tears trailed down her skin as he let himself go, let himself be held and comforted as Waverly whispered softly into his ear.

Waverly didn’t try to tell him it was okay, that this would simply fade away. Instead she told him stories- silly snippets of her adventures of living with Wynonna, the insanity that tends to happen at Shorty’s, and eventually, she answered the quirky little questions Nic breathed out once he had calmed enough to speak.

When Nic finally sat back a little, rubbing harshly at his eyes before Waverly pulled his hands away to gently wipe at his face, he smiled that affectionate little smile that told Waverly she was the light of his life. That smile never failed to send her heart racing, even when he was bruised and tear-stained.

“You know, one time Daddy told me that I couldn’t cry. If I cried I’d be showing all the scary things in the world that they were winning,” Waverly said. She smiled a little at Nic’s confusion, moving so that she was behind him. Gently she tugged him back, pulling until he reclined against her chest with his longer legs tucked in front of him. Her hands took out the rest of his hair from its bun, her fingers running gently through it to get any tangles out.

“I never told Wynonna. She would have told me it was stupid, whispered to me that he was wrong because it was okay to cry. Willa would have just laughed, really.” Nic looked up, leaning a little to press warm kisses to her jaw. Waverly relaxed into him, leaning down to steal a kiss before she sat back up and went to work loosely braiding Nic’s hair. The motions were soothing for both of them, and Nic’s sore eyes fluttered closed as he listened. “So I tried not to cry a lot when I was a kid. Then one day, someone said something nasty about me in school. Wynonna found out and came home to find me angrily kicking the barn walls while keeping my eyes closed tight. She asked me what I was doing and I just said, I’m not letting them win.”

Leaving the loose braid to fall apart, Waverly nudged Nic a little until he sat up, then turned again so she could look at the bruising on his face. His chin wobbled as he bit his bottom lip, eyes glazing over once again when Waverly pressed a delicate kiss to the marred skin. “Then she grabbed my hands and gave me some advice. It took her a long time to reconcile this advice with herself, but Wynonna- Wynonna told me that if I didn’t cry and feel, then I had already lost. That if I fought the tears, I wasn’t doing anyone any favors. She told me that I should always cry and I should always laugh and feel because that’s what makes me Waverly.” Chuckling softly, Waverly pulled back, smiling a little when she saw Nic no longer bothering to hold back his tears. “I know you were angry and scared, rightly so, but I hope you know you could have come to me first. You don’t scare me, Nic, not even when you’re trying to murder the punching bag.”

Nic laughed, letting the tears slide down his cheeks and ignoring the way the sound turned into more of a sob. “I don’t think I could ever hide away from you for long, Waverly Earp.”

“I’m glad to know I’m trusted enough to see your tears but also to know that I am irresistible. It’s a nice feeling. Good and warm and fuzzy inside.” Waverly beamed when Nic really laughed then. “How about we go inside and take care of this cut, huh.” Her thumb ran softly over his lip, her smile brightening even more when he pressed a little kiss to it.

“Will you shower with me?” Waverly nodded at Nic’s question, standing up with him only to dissolve into a fit of laughter when he lifted her up, one arm around her back and one under her knees. “Well alright.” Nic pressed a kiss to Waverly’s temple as she snuggled into his chest, her fingers picking at the material of his tank top.

“Nic, did you wear your binder to work out in? Even though last time you did that it was practically glued to you, you sweat so much?”

“Uhm.” Waverly shook her head when Nic’s steps stuttered a little on their way into the house, a nervous chuckle vibrating against her cheek. “Maybe. I didn’t really change after I got here, and it wasn’t that bad last time!” His indignant response brought another bubble of laughter from Waverly, her lips pressing against his neck in a soothing kiss.

“Uh huh, sure it wasn’t that bad. That’s why you needed me to help you for almost twenty minutes. It was the first time I saw you with your shirt off too, remember? You were so nervous and shy, the complete opposite of when you first introduced yourself to me. Then you told me you were stuck and I laughed at you for a solid five minutes because that’s what happened to me in the bar.” Waverly was full out laughing against his chest now, her hands going to grab his face as he set her down on the sink once they got to the bathroom.

“I know. I panicked for about a minute before I realized what was so funny.” Nic smirked at the memory and Waverly softened, tugging him forward to press another kiss to his bruised cheek. “I’ve never needed help to get out of the damn thing, and then you showed me the workout space. We were both so excited I just forgot to change into my usual workout clothes.”

“We had a long talk, an emotional night after the laughter wore off. Nearly killed Wynonna because she found us making out on the couch and wouldn’t stop singing K-I-S-S-I-N-G super loud around the house. It was a very special evening.” Waverly smiled wide when Nic burst into full belly laugh at the memory, his hair fully coming out of the braid to slip a little wildly around his shoulders.

Once the laughter subsided, Waverly just looked at him. That mix of fear and sadness was still there, hidden beneath the surface where she knew it would stay for a while, but it was so far behind a shining of affection and happiness that Waverly couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him.

“Hey.” Nic mumbled against her lips, pulling back slightly with a small wince as his cut stung. “I love you.” The words held a lot- a thank you and a powderkeg of emotions that exploded the moment he leaned forward to kiss her again, injury be damned.

Waverly slid her arms around his neck, warmth spreading through her as she felt the weight of those words. They hadn’t said it before- it was new and exciting and big and Waverly couldn’t have wished for a better feeling to come from it all.

Pulling their lips apart, she pressed her forehead to his as her hands tugged gently at his tank top, reminding him of why they were in the bathroom in the first place. “I love you too. Even though you’re stuck in your binder again.”

“Shut up, Wave. Just help me.”


	2. We're Here For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a week later and Nic is still amazed at how everything is
> 
> aka Champ is a dick, Waverly is a protective badass, and Nic loves her (and her crazy sister)

“You’re coming over now, right?” Waverly asked. Nic had to smile at her excited tone coming through over his cell phone. Waverly had begged him to come visit her at work after his shift since they hadn’t seen much of each other in the past few days, and he was happy to oblige.

“Yeah, I was just going to get changed then head over.”

Waverly’s exasperated laugh filtered through the phone and Nic can hear her rolling her eyes.

“Oh no you don’t, mister. You are going to go home and take a shower. The last time you came straight from work you still wore the binder you wear on the clock and I could smell you from ten feet away!”

Nic smirked against his phone, already heading out of the station instead of simply to the back room to change.

“I know you were running around today so you will go and clean your sweaty butt up before you come kiss me and keep me company at work.” Waverly finished the rant with a lighter tone and a soft giggle that had Nic’s heart thudding in his chest.

“Yes, ma'am. I have done you wrong in the past but this time, I’ll make sure I smell good for ya.”

“Make sure you wear the Stetson.”

Chuckling at the request, Nic simply hummed into the phone and said goodbye as he headed home. Driving in the cruiser off duty was always a little odd to him, but Nedley had insisted that he use the car even when off duty since it was his as long as he worked there. When he got back to his place, Nic rushed through the shower and dressed quickly.

After almost getting stuck in his binder because he didn’t dry off enough first, and then not being able to find the shirt he knew Waverly liked on him, Nic finally rushed back to his car, throwing his still wet hair into a messy bun to keep it off his shoulders. The guys in the Academy used to tease him about not cutting his hair after he started his hormone treatments, but Nic had always liked it the length it was. Waverly seemed to appreciate it too, constantly wanting to play with it and braid it for him for work.

The drive to the bar was quick and soon he was moving to sit across from where Waverly was working. He knew he had done well the moment he opened the door and her eyes went straight to him, widening slightly as her cheeks dusted pink.

The tight black muscle shirt accentuated his stomach nicely, adding to the flattening that the binder provided, while the open plaid shirt hung loose around his shoulders. Topping it off with ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and the Stetson seemed to be getting immense approval from the one person he wanted it from.

“Hey pretty lady, can I get a beer please?” Winking at Waverly seemed to break her out of her stare, his words sinking in as she poured him a glass of his usual. “How’s the night been so far?”

Nic watched Waverly’s smile spread slowly across her face as she leaned across the bar to whisper conspiratorially to him. “It’s been pretty slow but Wynonna is drunk and trying to get either Doc or Dolls to dance with her so it’s been pretty entertaining.” The laughter that bubbled up at the statement was stifled by Waverly pressing a finger to Nic’s lips. “Shh! Wynonna keeps getting insulted when I try to tell her she’s had enough and that she’s drunk. Too stubborn to listen.”

At that Nic really did laugh, shooting Waverly a look as he pressed a kiss to the finger still pressed against him. “I think that might just be an Earp trait there, Wave.”

“Alright Deputy, think I could have Waverly back for a while?” Shorty passed by them with a slight smile on his face, his eyes trying to be stern and failing.

“Yes, sir.” Nic tipped the rim of his hat in a nod before he sent a wink to Waverly, settling back into his bar stool. He was content to watch her work, keeping an eye on those around the bar in a similar fashion to how Nedley people watched during the day. He was right, the best way to find out if something was up was to simply be present.

He watched. Wynonna danced past him a few times, trying to cajole him into dancing with her as well, throwing a wink at Waverly every time she did so. Doc and Dolls seemed deep in conversation, both parties looking equally exasperated. The latest case was taking forever to get anywhere, and Dolls was pushing Doc for information any moment he could.

Then he spotted Champ, leaning against the pool table with a dark glint in his eyes. Ever since the incident the previous week when he had blabbed to the entire crowd at Shorty’s about him being trans- a fact he knew from the Academy before he dropped out- and getting nothing but backlash from said crowd, Champ has hated Nic even more than before.

Nic figured that Champ saw him as stealing his life. He was on the force where Champ had dropped out of the academy. Waverly broke up with him and, A month later, had asked Nic out instead. Now, the one thing he had against Nic that he thought would work in his favor ended up making those who had heard him angry at him for spouting hate.

Not everything was good. In the following days, word traveled fast, and Nic had seen a handful of sneers and heard the whispers. Still, the overwhelming support from a small town where he was an outsider was amazing, and Nic knew he had chosen the right home.

Leaning forward a little, Nic got Waverly’s attention and nodded over to him as subtly as possible. “Has he been a problem lately?”

Waverly looked exhausted at the topic of Champ, and Nic reached out to cup her cheek, gently running his thumb across her skin to soothe her. “He’s been getting worse. I’ve never seen him this bad, honestly, and it’s getting a bit old.”

The trickle of fear and anger he felt last time he had to deal with Champ slid back down his spine. Nic wondered, not for the first time, if Champ would try anything stupid. The past week had been fairly quiet outside of the usual drunken antics and Nic knew Champ would love to get a swing or two in. Glancing back over at Champ when Waverly stiffened slightly, Nic watched as he drunkenly moved to the bar, leaning against it a little too close for comfort. He reeked of beer and sweat and Nic wanted to shove him as far away from Waverly as he could.

“Champ, you’re drunk. Why don’t you just head on out of here.” Nic kept his voice level, unaffected even as he had to hold back the dread clinging to him. This close he could see the almost faded bruise still just under Champ’s eye.

“I don’t see why I gotta leave.” Champ slurred his words, his breath reeking of alcohol bad enough to make Nic’s nose scrunch in disgust. Attention turned towards them at Champ’s loud tone and how he slapped his hand down onto the bar. Shorty slid up close to Waverly while Wynonna’s smile slipped down, her fingers twitching over Peacemaker. “Not when you two are being disgusting here at the front of the bar.”

“I suggest you go ahead and get on out of here, Champ, before I gotta call the sheriff to get you out,” Shorty said. Nic brought his surprised gaze up to Shorty, who had a dangerous look on his face. Though he knew Shorty had been standing up for him, it surprised Nic how angry Shorty really was at Champ.

“Are you standing by this disgusting display in your place, Shorty?” Champ seemed completely surprised by Shorty’s reaction, his anger morphing even more as he pointed a finger at Nic’s chest. “This thi-”

“I dare you to finish that statement, Champ.” Waverly had the barrel of her shotgun pressed snugly against Champ’s forehead before he could say another word, eyes full of a cold rage that had even Nic stunned. “Now take your hands off my boyfriend and walk out of this bar before I pull this trigger, shithead.”

Recoiling from the cold metal pressed against his skin, Champ had the sense to move away from Nic and Waverly enough to not make her even angrier. “You would shoot me, Waverly!? Over this fucking tr-”

Peacemaker cut Champ off this time, the barrel pressed right between his eyes as Wynonna clicked her tongue at him. “You are just pushing your luck tonight aren’t ya.” Wynonna glared at him, a crazed smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Now, Waverly might not shoot you but I don’t have the same reservations.”

Champ had gone white, his knees trembling slightly as he took a slow step back. He swallowed hard before turning on his heel and storming out.

Nic’s eyes hazed over with a familiar feeling when almost everyone in the bar sent him reassuring looks before turning back to their own business. Shorty whispered that his beers that night were on the house as Waverly walked around the bar to pull him into a hug.

Peeking over the top of Waverly’s head, Nic smiled at Wynonna. Doc and Dolls were settling their own weapons back into their holsters, obviously having been ready to back them up if needed. ”Thanks.”

That one word seemed to mean a lot, as Wynonna simply shrugged and leaned forward to pull them both into an awkward side hug before pulling away again to go back to bothering Doc and Dolls. Nic looked down at the girl in his arms, his head ducking down so he could hide his tears against her shoulder.

“Why are you crying?” Waverly’s voice was a whisper in his ear, a tone of worry lacing the mild amusement that had been left over after her anger started to fade.

“You all defended me.”

Nic felt Waverly nod as if that was all the explanation she needed. Maybe it was. Waverly seemed to be able to read him almost as easily as he was learning to read her.

“How about I ask Shorty to go home a little early and we crash on the couch with your cat and some movies?”

“I would have to say that’s the best offer I’ve had all night, Wave.”

Waverly beamed up at him as she pulled away, and went back around the bar to talk to Shorty. Wynonna sent Nic a wink as she danced past him, Dolls finally following her lead with a blank expression on his face. His eyes fell back on Waverly when she looked back at him, Wynonna smiling and nodding with a cheesy thumbs up to them know they had the a-ok to leave.

That look, that smile that Waverly seemed to save just for him, and the stupid exaggerated winks coming from Wynonna as the couple left, winks that had Waverly laughing hard enough that she was stumbling as she walked- maybe that was all Nic needed.

Nic figured it had to be true, as he felt the sting of tears in his eyes when Doc, Dolls and Wynonna wished them goodbye. This time, however, they weren’t tears of sadness.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking promps over at my tumblr: transhaught
> 
> Also I appreciate tips if you can spare them over at my paypal: m.jones826@yahoo.com


End file.
